who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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