went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
