If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
