I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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