Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Couch. On fire.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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