So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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