Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
