Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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