You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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