she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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