im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
