Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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