she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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