my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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