She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
