he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
