Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
