He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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