life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize