p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
