I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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