How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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