Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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