Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
