one two three fourrrrnication!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish you could order shots online.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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