Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
