i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
