My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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