Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
