You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
