i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
