So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
