How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
