I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
