Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
