he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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