She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
