No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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