so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
