He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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