awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
