i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
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