Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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