Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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