I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
