I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
