And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
