We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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