I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
