its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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