I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
