Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
