what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
