This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
