Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
