Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
