she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
