they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize