Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
