I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
