ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
