I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
