I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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