I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
