Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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