just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
