The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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