I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
