oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
