First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize