But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
