my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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