So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
